so… after coming to the conclusion that i *am* in fact as desirable as a leper on fire… i think i’ll be okay… (read the last post if you’re confused…)
oh also… update… i’ll probably never see him again… because im pretty sure i scared him that bad… but… i guess im okay with that?? i dont even live here so… it was kindof futile… in a way, i guess it was “practice” 
annnnnnnnnnyways… a couple nights ago when i was having a… “im not going anywhere, im just going to hide myself indoors, eat pizza, and watch TV (mainly food network and discovery) because im slightly crazy and should not be inflicted upon the outside world” kind of night, i became re-addicted to the Spring Awakening soundtrack( oh yeah… im *that* much of a ‘mo)
((for those of you who dont know, Spring Awakening is a new musical that won a hojillion Tony awards this year (including best musical and best original score) and its scandalous and wonderful and based off of a shit-stirring german play of the same title by Frank Wedekind, published in 1891))
annnyways… the score is *rocking* and was written by duncan sheik, which i was rather surprised at. for me, personally… i was kindof expecting to be terrible, so when i first heard the music, i was absolutely blown away because… it wasnt what i expected at all.
so… in my night of self-pity/self-hatred and comfort food… i got inspired in the shower while belting a song from the show to write a song myself.
now… i had been throwing this idea around in my head for a while, because in thinking about my thesis/degree project, i want it to be interdisciplinary, involving various elements of performance. the theatre part and dance/choreography/physical part i have pretty well mapped out, but i hadnt done anything with the music-element. and fortunately, i was struck with a bit of inspiration in the shower and sat down and… wrote a song!
now… all my life, i had thought that as far as singing/songwriting went, i was always a singer and not a songwriter… but… apparently thats shifting… and being both doesnt seem as completely daunting. the song itself is currently titled “who we are”. in my head, i envision it to be rather epic and a “singing out to the rafters” kind of deal (a la “Seasons of Love”…but not quite…) im currently trying to figure out how to record it onto my computer and make an MP3 so i can send it out to everyone that is working on my thesis production. its melodically pretty simple, but its a bit structurally wonky… and i kindof like that. i think songs get really boring when they have stereotypical verse/chorus/verse/ stuff going on…
so annnyways… it’ll probably go through a whole bunch of revisions before its actually performed…
also… to give a bit of context… my thesis is an exploration of beauty and violence, focusing on fighting and dance. the main question i want to ask is “can beauty be violent?” and “can violence be beautiful?” all of this kindof falls into a sort of… internal exploration and learning to hold space and acknowledging the duality and extremes that exist in the world.
but yeah… in a nutshell… swashing, buckling, and beautiful dancing (and now singing) in order to bring people to a higher level of consciousness and connectedness to the world around them.
sounds awesome, no? hehe yeah… im really excited about it.
annyways… here are the lyrics to the song… im currently imagining this song happening at a critical moment… like… someone getting killed onstage and it kindof being… incredibly emotional and slightly terrifying
lighting shift
and then the entire ensemble is on stage… and BAM… everyone is in tears because what theyre seeing is so beautiful and sad and touching and life-changing!!!
so there you have it. think of all that while youre reading the lyrics!
“who we are”
music and lyrics – earl kim
(Verse 1)
The knife that cuts
The hand that slaps
And you want to turn your head away in that moment
(Verse 2)
Wait, don’t watch now
Look away, don’t stare
Why do we turn our heads away in that moment?
(Chorus)
This is life
This is pain
This is love
This is hate
This is something that makes us
Something that makes us
Something that makes us Human
(Verse 3)
Where do we turn
When we cant watch
And everything slips away in a moment
(Verse 4)
Look closely now
Watch, and you will see
Humanity exists within in this moment
(Chorus)
This is life
This is pain
This is love
This is hate
This is something that makes us
Something that makes us
Something that makes us Human
(Bridge)
There are times for mourning
And times for joy
But then what’s in the middle?
Is there something more?
What happens when the words we know
Are no longer able to describe
(Bridge-ish?)
What we see with our eyes
What we feel in our hearts
And is it so hard to see
That it can all exist within me?
And though we don’t know
And though we are scared
(re-Bridge?)
There will always be shadows
There will always be light
There will always be beauty
And sometimes we’ll have to fight
(Chorus)
This is life
This is pain
This is love
This is hate
This is something that makes us
Something that makes us
Something that makes us Human
And… this is who we are.
i’ll leave that up to your imaginations.